yo check it, my flo is serious

werd


just fucked this stank ass bitch
her pussy smelled like cheese
just fucked this stank ass bitch
made her get on her knees
she said she got a baby daddy
but its aight wit me
nigga is jealous when im rollin in my caddy
with his bitch bent over the seat
a hat dont get as much head as me
i roll wit da fine ass dimes u punks only get to see on tv
i fuck bitches raw wit my huge hamster dick
five 0 always on my ass and i aint do shit
racists pigs tryna hold a nigga down
doin 90 on tha hwy i fling my poo at em
just cuz my glock aint no where 2 be found
its so hard bein a gangsta ass hamster
eatin wood chips all day n smokin dried corn
drinkin musty ass water
yall dont know what ghetto is until u sleep in ya own shit


shit is off da hook right? anyway i juss got back from da doctor n he said i got VD. dam , nicca never get a break. its da white man holdin me down, thats why i got VD. yall its a conspiraci or sumthin cuz tha white man created VD just so the black man(hamster) could get it. juss like AIDS is a homo virus. yo n i cant wear rubbers cus my dick too big. dam its hot as hell in this cage, wtf is that bitch doin? settin her room on fire? i swear imma escape this cage one day
  • Current Music
    X is commin for u -DMX

this new bitch im fuckin n dante punk ass

her name trickisha n she got a nice booty, yall brothas know what i mean. the panties got wet mad quick when i showed her my pimped out cage. she was all "oh this is cute" and im all "yeah u like that dont you, now get yo fine ass on the bed" and she was all "no im waiting for marriage" and i was all"yeah right ho u lying now get on all fours and bark for me" and she was all "ok"

so after i gave her the bone i kicked her ass out n fell to sleep. then dantes high ass called me on some dumb shit like "yo come pick me up" im like "nigga pick u up? its 1am, where u at" and hes like "im outside of kmart n some niggas robbed me" and im like "what" and hes like "they robbed me foo' now come get me" and im like "yo, what did they take" and hes like " they stole some weed and knleenex" and im like "kleenex what type of niggas steal kleenex" and hes like " yo dat aint important pick me up"

so i got in my amigo(yall remember those vans they stopped sellin well i bought mine for 25$, yeah yeah ill get a pimped out ride soon, gotta wait until this record deal gets poppin) and drove around lookin for his ass. i saw him outside of kmart talkin to some ho with sum bright yellow weave lookin like a fake lil kim. dante always messin with these ugly brawds. i honked n he acted like he dont know me. i drove out there to do him a favor n he iggn me? fuck that. i start 2 drive off and his punk ass chased after tha car.so being the cool dood that i am, i stopped n let him in. so im like "why u talkin to sum fake lil kim when u already got a girl?" and hes all "u kno nigga reynisha dont give me any head, i need to get mines(reynisha is his girl). so im like "oh aight"

aight i best get goin if im gonna make it to my doctors appointment, gotta get tested for VD cuz this new bitch aint real clean.
1

you know who i'd like to bone?

that chick from newlyweds wit da big tits, wuss her name? she got sum BIG TITS fa realdamn



yo u see i fixed up my journal real nice, i like ta make things tight u know. i know ya'll is wonderin if dis nigga is gonna get locked up or not, JURY SAAID NOT GUILTY. ayo onto greener pastures right? i think that bitch jennifer is poisoning my water, sumthin aint tasting right like its musty. larry dont trust NO ONe word u can take that quote to da bank

n if yall didnt already know i'm joinin alluring_asians. yea im an asian hamster, i think, my momma was siberian, thats asian right? inno , all i kno is dey got sum hot ass chicks in that community.

fo' christas i got a new cage, shit is off da hook. im telling u i should be on MTV cribs. i got 2 jacuzzis a big ass water jug, water bed wit da silk sheets(sooky sooky now) u name it i prolly got it

my brother dante was on some grimmey shit yesterday, nigga had the nerve to call my house ghetto? wusso ghetto about fried chicken wall paper? tell me. thats why dantes sorry ass dont even got a home, he's living with his girlfriends grandmomma, punk ass. i had to take his no-car having ass to the liquor store to stock up for the new years party hes having. i asked that fool"where u gonna have the party u dont even have a house" he said he gonna have it in the alley outside toys r us. aint nobody gonna come to that gay ass party. hes gonna be in some dark alley way by himself drinkin a 40 and cryin while my fine tail is gonna be gettin sum on my new water bed.

Off to the studio late night
Time to cut another track
It's gotta be hype
Got my rhyme book in hand
A blue loose leaf
Anybody move on that
They get loose teeth
Evil's got the funky beat
A stupid dope loop
But the record's kind of old!
(What we gonna do troop?)
We gotta clean it up
Cause it's so dope
Tried the rubbing alcohol
Even the Ivory soap
But no matter what we do
The record keeps clickin'
FUCK IT!
Evil E, give me some of that
Damn fried chicken!

  • Current Music
    ice t -fried chicken

yo on the real

I think im gainin weight or sumthin..I was lookin at my reflection in da water and my face look mad bloated. maybe i been eatin too many peanuts...i eat a lot when im nervous n i got lots to be worried about. im goin to court this week for murder. a part of me done even give a shit if i get booked i mean im already livin in a cage how is jail gonna be different? n no i aint gonna take it up the ass. so inno, maybe i should stay fat n ugly so no men will wanna fuck me? but what if one of da prison wardens is some hot chcik? what then yo. ok so i been listenin to snoop dogg and i feel for him cuz hes a gangsta like me and we both aint kill no bitches

Ay ay Jaycee
Sup Aron?
Ain't that Snoop Dogg over there?
That that nigga with that blue coat on?
Yeah
Yeah oh yeah that's that nigga
Nigga roll up on the side of him man
Roll your window down
Man hand me my motherfuckin Glock man gimme another clip
Cuz I'm gonna smoke this fool
Yeah roll the windows down
Yeah, OK there you go
Ay man, you Snoop Dogg?
Snoop?
Huh?
Snoop Doggy Dogg?
Man he's Snoop Dogg
Man fuck that nigga!!
[gun shots]
Nigga man!
Get that nigga man!
Man get up fool man, get up man, don't be tryin to run man
Get up on that fool man, I don't give a fuck
What set you got now? Fuck you nigga!
Yeah nigga, whassup?
Nigga?
Yeah motherfucker
Yeah nigga, one less nigga
Yeah nigga, youse a dead motherfucker now

[Verse One:]

As I look up at the sky
My mind starts trippin, a tear drops my eye
My body temperature falls
I'm shakin and they breakin tryin to save the Dogg
Pumpin on my chest and I'm screamin
I stop breathin, damn I see deamons
Dear God, I wonder can ya save me
I can't die Boo-Boo's bout to have my baby
I think it's too late for prayin, hold up
A voice spoke to me and it slowly started sayin
"Bring your lifestyle to me I'll make it better"
How long will I live?
"Eternal life and forever"
And will I be, the G that I was?
"I'll make your life better than you can imagine or even dreamed of
So relax your soul, let me take control
Close your eyes my son"
My eyes are closed

[Chorus:]

Murder... murder was the case that they gave me
Murder... murder was the case that they gave me

[Verse Two:]

I'm fresh up out my coma
I got my momma and my daddy and my homies in my corner
It's gonna take a miracle they say
For me to walk again and talk again but anyway
I get, fronted some keys, to get, back on my feet
And everything that nigga said, came to reality
Livin like a baller loc
Havin money, and blowin hella chronic smoke
I bought my momma a Benz, and bought my Boo-Boo a Jag
And now I'm rollin in a nine-trizzay El Do-Rad
"Just remember who changed your mind
Cuz when you start set-trippin, that ass mine"
Indeed, agreed proceed to smoke weed
Never have a want, never have a need
They say I'm greedy but I still want mo'
Cuz my eyes wanna journey some more, really doe (check it out)

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord, my soul to keep
If I should die, before I wake
I pray the lord, my soul to take

No more indo, gin and juice
I'm on my way to Chino, rollin on the grey goose
Shackled from head to toe
25 with an izzl, with nowhere to gizzo, I know
them niggaz from the other side recognize my face
Cuz it's the O.G. D-O-double-G, L-B-C
Mad doggin niggaz cuz I don't care
Red jumpsuit with two braids in my hair
Niggaz stare as I enter the center
They send me to a leval 3 yard, that's where I stay
Late night I hear toothbrushes scrapin on the floor
Niggaz gettin they shanks, just in case the war, pops off
Cuz you can't tell what's next
My little homey Baby Boo took a pencil in his neck
And he probably won't make it, to see twenty-two
I put that on my momma, I'ma ride for you Baby Boo

Mirror mirror on da wall..who da flyest muthafucca?

No it aint snowwhite bitch! Its yall fav hamster-larry.


Now you know, this hamster looks good as hell. oh yeah and thats my big ass shoe, you know what they say bout big feet

anyway tryin to stay out of trouble, pigs always on my tail botherin me like i owe em money or somethin. if anythin they owe ME money. lockin me up falsely. i didnt kill dat bitch! pigs came knockin on my door 5:30 in da AM talkin bout they got a warrant and shit for my arrest. they iz out they minds for real tho, warrants? so i juss happened 2 have a loaded paintgun unda my exercise wheel so i ran and whipped that shit out and pulled it on da pigs. so im gettin all rough talkin real loud and imtimidatin "what u want now fool." yeah they ran like little bitches. i called up my brotha donte and he said he would come n help but he was fighting wit his baby momma bout some restrainin order. so im thinkin on my feet, who da fuck can i stay wit cause u know da pigs bound to come back for me, wit back up. LEE, naw not that bitch lee who got knocked up-the fool she was named after. he live in khalifornia so im bout to hit him up , yo he betta let me stay there for real i got no where else. inno what 2 do. i gotta go pack my shit-if i cant get in touch wit lee imma just sleep at the payless on lexington and 5th


1
  • Current Music
    murder was the case that they gave me -snoop dogg

guess who back?

wut up, wut up ya'll. just got sprung from da county jail and let me tell u it feels great to be back. ya'll is prolly wunderin why a hamsta like myself would eva put myself into a situation where id be locked up. well simply put i got pulled ova cuz my car doesnt have a passanger door, aint no big thang. i get by wit out it but the officer thought differently. and na i know what yall nassy ass folk prolly thinkin. i didnt take it up da butt in prison, i was the one givin it up the butt. oh yeah u also prolly wonderin why tha pigs put my ass in jail for juss havin a missin door, well there was 4 lbs of cocaine in my glove compartment, no big deal
n they found a dead prostitute in my trunk, look yo i dont know how she got there, on the real tho i think someone tryin to frame my ass. hamsta jail aint no joke, fools dont mess around. now im back in da homecage again, doin my normal routine, bitch put me back in the cage. anyhow heres a song for yall , it helps me thru hard times

All the girl could want was a little attention
From a man who's strong and not to mention
Kiss and caressing her all night long
But all that boy wants is to hit and run off
He and his friends-they sit and they laugh
Going around talking 'bout the girls they used in the past
Yu ago get what's coming to you
For all the bad bad things you do to your
Lady, treat her like a lady
U'll make a good girl crazy
If you don't treat her like a lady. (2x)
She stopped going to church, she don't wanna go to school
She left with anger when he took her for a fool
Even though her friends tell her to just keep cool
Didn't tell her from the start just what he had planned
Right in her face with another woman
Now she's in jail for attacking her man
Yu ago get what's coming to you
For all the bad bad things you do to your
Lady, treat her like a lady
U'll make a good girl crazy
If you don't treat her like a lady. (2x)
Tell it to her straight, she can take the truth
Don't lead her on and leave her confused
Anyone would rather be alone than be used
Don't sit and think you'll hurt her feelings
She only wants to know just what the deal is
Next time beware of who's heart your breaking (or stealing)

that hot shit was by celine dion, she my bitch too

larrys gangsta mug



if yall just dyin to know what this pimp look like, here ya go. not a very clear pic but thats my ass runnin on the wheel. now you can tell why the ladies luv me

you see thats the MUG i put on when i go into my hood[right now im livin in the burbs, tollgate represent!]. you gotta have a hard mug when u hit the streets because theres goin 2 be nothin but drama if you look like a punk. thats why i shove my fists into the bottom of my shirt n fold the material over my hands, to make it look like im 'packin heat'.

neway some bitch scuffed my new tennas n that just fucked with my whole day , not to mention my buzz. then some jesus freaks pounded on my cage 1pm in the afternoon WHEN IM SLEEPIN and asked me if i accepted jesus as my personal savior. so im all "yeah im coo wit jesus , he aint never do nothin to me . not like i kno the dood personally but he coo in my book na mean?" n the jesus freaks are all "say again please" and im all"who are you again cuz i forget shit easily" and theyre all"we'll come back another day" and im all"thanks for waking me up". they r kinda uptight too, i offered them some beer n they were all "no thank you i do not drink". maybe thats why they worryin bout the world endin in shit, they too sober for they own good. take it from me, few puffs and a gulp of grandmas medicine will make the end of the world look like orioles lost the world series
who the fuck cares man
oh damn my songs on, time to bizounce
  • Current Music
    my ass is like whoa

Say my name , L A R R Y

so check it, im chillin in my cage, thinkin about that hot piece of tail katrina i did back in 01' and all of the sudden theres this loud ass crack. WHACCCKISH . so im like damn what is that? dood i dont know i never found out what that noise was but it was pretty fuckin weird. i had to bail my brother donte from jail this mornin because he got arrested for driving under the influence of fuckin cocaine . oh man what a fool, i told him not to snort and drive. bail money is a bitch, i had to sell some of my dvds just to get his sorry ass out of there. n hes all "well damn brotha you shouldve went back to pimpin. made some MAD money". and im all "nah i dont even do that shit no more. im a changed man" and hes all"yeah right nigga nothin changed about you" and im all"yeah youre right i just couldnt find any hos in time" and then im all"holdon" i mean hes all"yeah so what..nevermind".

anyhow i forget the rest of the convo because i took a hit beforehand. i think i need to see a doctor, my hair keeps fallin out in clumps. that aint even right cuz how am i supposed to braid that shit when im goin bald in areas?
i think my cage is sorta gay cuz it has glitter on it. shoot, this girl is tryin to make me into a fag.

but on the real tho-if i werent a hamster and i were a human, id fuck her rotten. ayp you know what im sayin dogg? yeah. im out

peace and chicken grease til next time

larry out one!
  • Current Music
    i get high...high..high..everyday

First day in my new pad

Oh and for those who arent hip to what a PAD is, its a house. I had to take down some of that girly shit LEE put up. Like those pictures of brad pitt, dude i cant stare at that all day and night. So i put up some pictures of pam anderson and her big old titties.I put the poster in front of the exercise wheel, now i got a goal. run fo' titties!

Don't worry about lee. She just got knocked up by this dude she used to run with at petco. Kind of sad though, she was a fine piece of tail, now just gone to waste. But hey shes cool with me because she let me have her cage.

Im gonna describe myself for some of you ladies, just so you know whats up ok

i'm a brown and white short haired hamster male with a big dick. I like takin a few puffs of mary JANE before breakfast. Oh man this one time i forgot to put out my blunt and my wood chips caught on fire. But thats when i lived in the hood, so the fire department didnt come for hours cuz they thought it was a prank. I lost some good weed that day..

I gotta go, cuz im tired .
  • Current Music
    wuh?

Lets get physical

Every day I look at my reflection in a CD that's next to my cage and I think...damn , why are you so good looking? I mean I know hamsters are meant to be cute..but me I am just SO the shit. I reaaaally need to spring from this joint and find a neat disco where I can get some hot hamster penis. See, that's why I run on this damn wheel every night, to keep up my figure. Right now I got a fat ass and stretch marks on my stomach. But at least my fur hides it. Oh and I have been TRYING to tell mommy that I'd prefer it if there were bubbles in my water but she just ignores me, like I don't even exist.


Ok all, Oprah is on. Peace out !
  • Current Music
    Lets get physical-Olivia Newton John